Category: theater stuff

Our last NYC apartment was in Carroll Gardens. We were on the third floor. The apartment below us jutted further out than ours, so we used its roof as a perch. Long adjacent courtyards stretched between the backs of the buildings, which meant lots of open space to gaze upon our neighbors. One young dude was always brushing his teeth on his fire escape. Another lived with his mom and wore a hoodie and fought with his girlfriend on the phone every night. One old man woke up at 2am most nights and wandered around naked.

We also had a subway stop near us. The train would rattle the above-ground tracks a half-block from our perch. Our walls shook every ten minutes.  The train slowed down as it pulled into the station,  and we’d get a perfect slow-mo view of all the folks on their way to Manhattan late at night.  Mostly graveyard shifters and club kids. The occasional woman dressed in business attire.

Around the time we moved to the west coast, the older folks in the apartments were replaced by young white women holding newborns at night.  Just like me.

Currently I’m working on a thing with another writer that’s gonna be at a gallery in NYC in April. It’s based on a photo by an artist who’s also interested in such things.  I’ll tell you about it later, but here’s the photo:

… and here’s an except of the work-in-progress. It’s from the point of view of the woman in the aqua shirt:

Apartment in Chelsea. Kid toys, etc. GRACE opens a drawer. Grabs a lighter and a bowl. Picks at the bud with her fingernail. She listens/speaks into her iPhone earbuds.

GRACE
Hm-hm. 
(opens her window, lights the bowl, takes a hit) 
[…] 
Hm-hm. 
(blows smoke out the window, peers across the street... the man who lives in the building across the street is not home yet)
[…] 
They’re all at the lake for John’s dad’s 80th. I had a migraine, so. 
[…]
The entire weekend. 
[…]
Probably. 
[…] 
Hm-hm. 
[…] 
Uhhhh… Indica. It’s for my anxiety. It helps. I feel great. I feel pretty fucking great. I’m like, I dunno. I lost two pounds. I did yoga this morning. I bought a couch. 
(sits on her new couch)
[…]
Yes I did. Yes I did. I totally did. Oh my god, Aaron. It’s soooooooo beautiful. The fabric is called “bouclé.” It means “curl” in French. “Bouclé.” Isn’t that beautiful? 
(runs her hand along the fabric)
[…]
Uh kind of like this nubby woven texture? Like something a cat would claw. Rowr. 
(giggles, moves toward the window with her bowl, looks out)
I can’t stop touching it. I’m like literally addicted to touching it. Wanna hear what they call the color? It’s fucking amazing. Wait. Let me describe it first. 
(turns to scrutinize her couch) 
It’s like… it’s kind of grey-ish beige-ish… but like, delicate? Like a quail’s egg? But without all the speckles? Um… 
[…]
No. More like a warm antiquey champagney oatmealy buff-ish taupe-ish kind of… Ok so if color were sound? This would be a sigh. But not a tired sigh, or an exasperated one. The sigh you make when you slide into a hot bath. 
[…] 
Nope. 
(lights up her bowl, takes a hit) 
[…]
Nope. 
(exhales out the window, looks for the dude... still not home)
[…] 
Not even close. 
[…]
Ready? “Orla putty.” 
[…]
“ORLA PUTTY.” Isn’t that gorgeous? 
[…]
No, a file cabinet is “putty colored.” This is “orla putty.” 
[…]
I have no idea what “orla” means. It’s a nonsense word. It’s a sound. It floats from your lips and flutters across the street and lands at the feet of a dangerous woman. 
[…]
Two thousand dollars. Cash. 
[…]
Well you shouldn’t be. I’m feeling better than I have in years. 
[…]
Because it was the floor model and they didn’t wanna sell it so I paid extra. I didn’t plan it out. I wasn’t like, couch shopping on the internet or whatever. 
[…]
Because I’ve been trying to run into him. Like for about a week. I hit the dry cleaner, the post office, the CVS, the florist. Friday I pass the furniture store… There’s a couch in the window. His couch. The same exact one. And so I walk in and find a saleswoman and go, “I’ll take that.” And she’s like, “Oh, that’s back ordered. You’re welcome to browse the showroom and whatever whatever.” And I go “no, I’ll take that one.” And she’s like it’s not for sale, and I’m like I’ll pay cash. I’m like I’ll pay double. Whatever you want, lady. 
[…]
Why not? It’s my fucking money. When they delivered it I took a picture and texted it to John. He sent me a thumbs up emoji. 
(glances out the window a moment... dude is still not there) 
[…]
Nope. Nothing. Nada. Maybe he didn’t notice. Maybe he noticed and didn’t care. Maybe he noticed and is freaking out, and tonight he’ll come home and close the blinds and never belt another TV theme song from the 80s out the window again. 
[…]
Not a clue. You know I’m making shit up as I go, right… 
[…]
Well yeah. I had to get rid of a couple things to make it fit. 
[…]
Uh, the accent chairs from Ikea, Mom’s old stackable tables, Katie’s easel, the ugly bar cart John got at the Brooklyn Flea… what else… 
[…]
Oh right. The nursing chair.
 
Beat. Something changes in her. She takes another hit.

I’m still recovering from Monday night’s Bias Bash at the Ovations. So much planning, so much smashing. Such a wonderful community of theatre-makers worth celebrating. I’d tell you all the good parts but I’m too tired. Here’s one of the rowdier moments (last five minutes of the show, condensed to 45 seconds):

And yes, that is indeed Paula Vogel in the sparkly white jacket.

So yeah, the Kilroys are hosting the Ovation Awards in Los Angeles on Monday.

When the director of the show invited us to participate, I don’t think it totally clicked we were being asked to do something BIG– like, more than just read winners off a card and do shots in the lobby.

But lemme tell you, it is NO JOKE. We gotta write a 30 page script, invite presenters, organize announcers, edit bios, do other stuff, and basically try not to bore the living crap out of 1600 theater people in tuxes and gowns.

Backing up.

What does it mean for an advocacy group to associate itself with an awards show? We are independent by choice, unbound by the constraints of a governing body or the interests of a funding source. But when our name gets stamped on a program, isn’t that an endorsement? What if we don’t agree with something on principle?

Like, say a theater nominated for Best Season produces a year of plays written exclusively by white men. If that theatre wins, we’re the ones waiting for them at the podium. Which is… awkward?

And what of the awards show itself? Can the Kilroys belt out a compelling choral rendition of “Everybody Says Don’t?” (Not currently.) Are the Kilroys known for telling irreverent yet tasteful jokes that poke fun at AND revel in life’s absurdities? (Not remotely.)

We drop lists. We give cakes. We publish books. We make noise. We advocate. And while it’s ballsy for the Powers That Be to give the mic to a gang o’gals with a reputation for stirring shit up, it’s friggin’ nuts when the gang en masse has zero experience entertaining large groups of people for multiple hours at a time. (It’s gonna be GREAT.)

Meanwhile. This event marks the evolution of the Kilroys. The 13 founding members will officially pass the torch to these 14 super badass killer queens. Which is suddenly and unexpectedly very emotional. (For me. Heh.)

We built this thing in 2014 out of frustration and desperation. It has been a refuge, a vessel to contain our energy and hope and anger. A place of recognition. But the work is grueling. Over the past five years we’ve acquired spouses, kids, careers. We’ve run TV shows. We’ve had theatre premieres. We need replacements so others can prioritize what we no longer can.

It was the right choice, no question. Except now I’m like, where will I dump all my spectacular feminine rage? I’m already a spin instructor for chrissakes…

The author in repose.

I suppose I can launch the occasional prickly missive here. But every time I post something that skews even lightly towards sermon, I hate myself. I’m uncomfortable with my own moralizing. I care too much what people think. I don’t know squat. But also, nothing ever happens. The chances of impact are like, microscopic.

At least with playwriting I have persuasive tools like character and story at my disposal, which makes it easier to assert a potentially challenging point of view. But even when my work is political and/or impactful, the act of making a play is mostly self-serving. The main beneficiary is me.

But with the Kilroys, it’s all action. Exhausting exhilarating obsessive righteous action. And while any impact we foster is a product of our own individual efforts, the beneficiary is Theatre. Women. Art. You. When it works, it’s thrilling beyond words. I’m gonna miss the heck out of it. But I’m stoked to cook up one last bash with these fierce new ‘Roys.

So… as we collectively struggle to find outfits for Monday that won’t cast us as victims of the patriarchy, here are the questions we ask ourselves:

1) What is a reasonable level of entertainment one can expect from a gang of grass-roots activists?

2) How does one perform one’s principles in formalwear?

3) Is it possible to publicly identify institutional bias without taking anything away from the institution at hand?

4) Can we shout-out the artists who aren’t being honored while lovingly celebrating the ones who are?

Guess we’ll find out next week…